RANDOM: Life is stranger than fiction, part 3

Last month I listed some of the more memorable headlines from newspaper articles I had collected. Below are some more to bring tears of laughter. Or maybe just tears.
Man dead over a year in front of TV that’s still on [Hampton Bay, NY]
Teen sneaking to his room gets stuck in chimney [Royal Oak, MI]
Man, 84, survives attack of Moon Pies; suspect held [Galesburg, IL]
Man accused of shooting lawnmower [Milwaukee, WI]
Wedgie thwarts attempted robbery [Salt Lake City, UT]
Dog eats $400; some recovered [Apex, NC]
Woman fends off bear with zucchini [Frenchtown, MT]
Man who dressed as Gumby pleads guilty of burglary [San Diego, CA]
Student: Roommate had too much sex [Boston, MA]
Bank robbery suspect found in air duct [Chicago, IL]
Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.